Wednesday, July 6, 2011

A Step Into The Unknown.

Photo via TwiggyJane on Flickr.

I've got my dream life. I live on an amazing farm, I've got a great guy for a husband, my daughter is absolutely awesome, and I'm the owner of my own business. The part of my life that I feel is incomplete is me. Does that make sense? I have so much that I want to accomplish. I've got more dreams and goals than any person should. I've sculpted everything in my life to match the dreams I've always had, except for those concerning myself. I kind of let myself go by the wayside in order to take care of the rest of my life.

I want to create habits that help me build gradually into the human I want to be. Yoga is something I've always found appealing from afar, but I've only tried it once. I enjoyed it, but then it got lost as does most things I try to start. I want to pick it up again in order to strengthen my body and give me something to help clear my head. I have a garden I tend to when I get a free moment (which isn't often), and it is producing veggies as we speak. I've been making whole wheat flatbread for the household for about a month now, which makes me proud to say I don't buy bread from the store anymore (that was one habit that seem to stick). I'd like to take a crack at making yogurt soon and perhaps that will become habit too. Just keeping up with these things would be a great step in the right direction.

I'd like to join a few clubs and organizations. Get out and volunteer. Support the community, that sort of thing. I'd also like to research things I'm passionate about and never stop learning. Keep up on my writing. Paint and draw and photograph to my heart's content. Believe it or not I miss school so badly. I'd go back to college in a heartbeat.

I just want to erase fear of failing from my life. If I don't try the things I want to learn or do, then I can't fail, but I also stay stagnant. I want to become the person I always envisioned myself being, and I can't do that unless I take a leap of faith and not worry about screwing up or falling short. And if I do disappoint myself, then I need to just not let it get to me and try again.

That's a really hard thing for me to let go of, but this is kind of a vow to myself that I'm starting from scratch here. I'm going to keep realistic and know that change won't come overnight, but gradually I hope I become exactly who I've always dreamed of being. A person Joe can grow up to admire and be proud of.

Perhaps you guys can keep me on my toes.

No comments: