Feeling a bit grey today.

This was once, and will hopefully be again, our livingroom.

I'm not a complainer, I really do try to see things as 'glass-half-full,' but I could really scream from the top of my lungs. I think it's the weather--it's dreary and windy--but I just feel absolutely defeated today. My livestock buying opportunities have all fallen through recently. My house is a constant construction zone. I'm trying to start a business while raising a new baby. I feel like I'm treading water, but sinking slowly. Yeesh.

I thought motherhood and business were going to go together so smoothly (yeah I know I was dumb)--when she goes down for a nap all I'd like to do is sit down and BREATHE for a moment. I've never given her a bottle (she's always fed off of me), so she's never been away from me longer than about two hours since she was born six months ago--and that's just when I run to the grocery. That's why quite a few of my livestock opportunities have fallen through--I had no want to ride in a vehicle for a solid two-or-three hours one way to look at a herd of goats or rabbits. So I've been kicking myself as I read about various perfect sounding ads on Craigslist that are just a smidge too far away for me to travel with Joe at the moment. Makes a girl a bit sad, but alas I've got to pull it together and just keep pushing forward. It'll all work out--eventually she will be weaned and I will be able to venture farther from home and pick up all the livestock of my dreams.

I'd like to somehow magically become SUPER organized too. I look in the magazines and see how they've organized their kitchens and freezers and daydream whistfully that someday I'll have something similar. I know it's just a matter of starting slow and making a habit, but I'm clueless on how to start.


Just like my self-sufficiency wants. Where do I begin? I've had each 'piece' of the plan at one point in my life or another, but I'm not sure what is the best way to incorporate all of the pieces into one cohesive farm. I've got a small flock of chickens, and turkey poults that are doing really well. I've also got a nice young Flemish Giant doe that I'm hoping to find a mate for soon. I'm thinking I'll get another batch of chicks from Dinky's later this summer too. I've been on the lookout for a few young dairy does to raise for milk. I figure they are the logical next step because they can help manage our pastures a bit. When they come into milk, I'm hoping to use them to raise some piglets, poultry, and calves. Which will hopefully be arriving next spring. I'm hoping things will just grow slowly from there.


Same with the garden--I've never had much of a green thumb, but that was mostly because I didn't try. Now that I have the opportunity I see no limit. I'll eventually become a freezing and canning professional--then maybe I'll have the kitchen and freezer I mentioned above.


So anyway, that's what's going on with me today. I really hate being in a funk, so hopefully I snap out it really soon.